k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
