I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize