I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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