Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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