jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
