last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
