at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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