You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
