CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
