I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Quick, to the slutcave!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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