My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize