halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
