Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My pussy is not your playground.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
