I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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