he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
