i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
