there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
just found out that she named her cat after me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
