then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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