If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
