When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
