i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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