ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
