he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
