There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
40s are totally the cure
BRING THE BAGELS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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