What a fucking waste of an outfit
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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