We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
