i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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