oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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