I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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