I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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