i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize