capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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