so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
