I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
