you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
