discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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