this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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