Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize