when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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