Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
