The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
