She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
