Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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