Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
