just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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