I need help removing her.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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