i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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