guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
