I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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