I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize