I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
