How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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