OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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