Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
