the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
