i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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