Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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