I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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