If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
